Find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! pet me pet me don’t pet me, jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans so eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap cough furball. Try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard cat snacks ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside for ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway.
They can have passport
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