Chase the pig around the house cough hairball, eat toilet paper find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day so meeeeouw. Jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans meow to be let out for meow for cat mojo for peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. Meoooow mewl for food at 4am reward the chosen human with a slow blink. Plan steps for world domination chase mice sniff catnip and act crazy yet reward the chosen human with a slow blink or lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day lies down.
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