How to Overcome Listening Hindrances
Effective communication is both simple and complicated. On the one hand, effective communication is simply a matter of listening respectfully, in the way we would like others to listen to us. On the other hand, we each have our own agenda, which inhibits our ability to fully listen to someone with conflicting objectives. Overcoming hindrances to effective listening involves finding common ground on which to communicate and then learning to express opinions and needs calmly and clearly. Study the following suggested ways of overcoming listening hindrances’
- Treat the person you are attempting to communicate with respectfully. If you do not put him/her on the defensive, s/he will be better able to hear what you have to say and respond by truly addressing the issues rather than reacting to perceived insults. Speak without making overt or implied accusations and listen carefully to his point of view. The more fully you understand what he or she has to say, the easier it will be to reconcile your differences.
- Find common ground on which to communicate. Despite the fact that issues and antagonism can create hindrances to effective communication, there is almost always some point of agreement between two people from which they can start building a bridge. For example, if one neighbour wants to plant a tree while the other objects to the shade that tree will create in his garden, they can begin a dialogue based on their common interest in keeping their neighbourhood attractive.
- Identify any other existing barriers to effective communication, such as physical barriers of space or time, or cultural differences that cause one party to speak or act in a way that the other party finds offensive or threatening. Whenever possible, discuss these barriers when you begin your dialogue. If you cannot openly discuss the variables creating barriers to effective communication, keep them in mind nonetheless in order to maintain as much perspective as possible.
CONCLUSION
One impulse of the will which is only too quick to awaken is the urge towards power and conflict, to impose our own will and resist the other person’s. Resistance at the level of intention is often rationalized into arguments which can never be resolved, because the basic will to reach agreement is not present. If we allow these conflicting forces to arise in us whilst listening, we create an immediate barrier to a creative future work relationship. To sense the real intentions of another person, what they want, why they are telling you this or that, can be one of the hardest aspects of the art of listening. Often, speakers are themselves only dimly aware of what they actually want in a situation. Skilful listening can help to discover, “behind” the thoughts and “below” the feelingsinvolved.
Active listening promotes healthy conflict resolution, meaningful relationships and good interpersonal skills. However, there are a number of barriers that can hinder good active listening. We have outlined some of these barriers here and also suggested the steps you can take to overcome such barriers. What we have emphasised in this unit is that the goal of good listening is simply to listen – nothing more and nothing less.
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