Respond When Appropriate
Save your questions or comments for when the speaker is done talking. The speaker may inadvertently address any concerns you may have had or answer your question later in the lecture. Interrupting is not only rude, but also proves that you are not willing to listen fully. Avoid forming any opinion of the speaker until you have listened to his/her entire statement. Jumping to conclusions will only distract you from the speaker’s message. Responding once the speaker has finished talking allows you to ask better questions or make stronger comments without wasting the speaker’s time.
Ask Questions
It is important that you do respond. This lets the speaker know that you listened to what s/he had to say and you either understand or want to know more. Asking questions shows the speaker that you are interested in what s/he has to say and are all ears.
Relationship Listening Skills
In order to be a good friend, spouse or employee, you must have effective listening skills. One of the most important communication skills you can learn is active listening. Therapists and counsellors spend large quantities of time learning and improving this skill in order to develop positive relationships with their clients because of its importance. Listening skills can improve your relationships and increase your success at work.
Paying Attention
If you want to be an active listener, you must pay attention to what the other person is saying. Check in with yourself periodically; if you find that you are nodding off or distracted, refocus your attention. If you are already planning what you are going to say in response, you are not listening or paying attention. Let the person finish speaking before you make judgments or respond. Listen to the other person as you would want to be listened to. If you are talking to your friend about something upsetting, you expect for him/her to care and listen to your concerns. You might want her/him to offer some advice or just hear what you have to say. When other people interrupt you, you probably feel as if they aren’t listening or paying attention. Watch how others respond to you and mimic the behaviours that you like.
Nonverbal Communication
People can show that they are listening or that they bear distracted through nonverbal communication, according to Helpguide.org. If you are talking to your spouse about an argument that she had with her friend, you want to show her that you care. She can tell you are not listening if you do not make eye contact, fidget or look at your watch. If you want to improve your nonverbal communication, occasionally nod, sit up straight and smile to encourage the speaker.
Feedback
People want to be heard, and part of listening in a relationship is giving the other person feedback. This doesn’t mean you have to provide advice or give your opinion. Repeat what the person has said in your own words. For instance, if your friend tells you he/she is not getting along with a co-worker, has to work long hours every day and feels drained when he gets home, you could respond by saying, “It sounds as though you’re stressed and overwhelmed.” With that one short statement, your friend will understand that you listened and care. If s/he asks for advice, give it, but just let him/her vent before telling him/her how to fix his situation. Many times, that is all it takes to make the other person feel better.
CONCLUSION
When a person responds to your words by saying “I hear you,” do you sometimes wonder if he was truly listening to you? Perhaps you find your mind wandering off when someone is sharing her thoughts with you. You may have heard the words being spoken, but were you really listening to their meaning? Hearing and listening have different meanings. Hearing is a passive occurrence that requires no effort. Listening, on the other hand, is a conscious choice that demands your attention and concentration.
Listening and hearing, as you have studied in this article, may be both sensed through our ears but beyond that listening is very different from hearing. Hearing is just the perception of several sounds going through your ear while listening is absorbing every part of the sound and understanding what is meant. Therefore, listening entails understanding while hearing does not. Aside from this, listening requires attentiveness and concentration which requires your brain to work. On the other hand, hearing is more like the perception of sound waves in the ears. So when somebody gives you an oral instruction, it is always a wise decision to listen and not only hear. If you want to understand and acquire knowledge, always use your ears to listen and not just to hear words.
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